A Homemaker’s Day
A day in the life of the traditional homemaker is markedly different from the day of a woman in the workforce.Before I Came Home
When I had my first child, Augusta, I was teaching kindergarten in the public schools. I would wake up at 7 am and hurriedly get ready, knowing that I had a 25 minute drive ahead of me and an 8:15 required arrival time. Oh, how I hated to wake up my baby so early in the morning! My husband worked shift work at that time. If he was working, I had to drop her off at my mother-in-law’s house. If he was at home, I would leave her sleeping in her crib. After a harrowing day of teaching 27 kindergartners, and pumping my breasts during my lunch break, I would head to my car at the earliest possible moment. Upon arrival at my mother-in-law’s house, I would hear about all the things Augusta did that day. Many of her firsts were experienced by my husband’s mother. If my husband was at home with Augusta, I expected everything to be perfect when I walked in the door. I wanted to see a sparkling house and a clean baby. I don’t know why I placed such high expectations on my working/child-caring husband (he often suffered with a low amount of bottled breast milk for feeding AND a demanding wife). I think I pressured him to perform well because I resented being away from my baby. I came home shortly after Augusta’s two-year-old birthday. There was a long, financial struggle ahead of us filled with marital discord, blood, sweat, and tears out of which we’ve only recently emerged after nearly 30 years of marriage. It’s rough emotionally, physically, and mentally when you don’t have the money to pay your bills. Many of our financial problems occurred because all of our bills were based on two incomes before I came home. Also, we tended to be defensive rather than offensive when it came to money and debt. Financial problems generally lead to marital problems. When the kids were little, my husband and I argued a lot. My family constantly questioned my status as a homemaker and the amount of children we were having (we have 5). I was humbled, beyond belief by our raggedy cars, the lack of groceries in our home, and the private struggles of my marriage . I had no relatives to support or encourage me on my journey homeward (although they did support us in many other ways, they did not approve of me choosing to stay at home). Their disapproval of our lifestyle made it impossible to share my pain with them. My father has always been on my team and I’m closer to him than anyone outside my immediate family. But I know that he was concerned about our financial future and the pressure on my husband to provide. My mother was supportive, but addicted to alcohol. She lived far away and died fairly young. I don’t think family members intended to be disapproving. They were just doubtful regarding our ability to survive as a large, one-income family. God and my fellow homemaking friends made all the difference during those hard times. Reading my Bible, praying, and hanging out with liked-minded people were true lifesavers. Looking back at yesterday’s struggles, it was all worth it.Uplifting Encouragement For Homemakers
As an encouragement to all downtrodden homemakers suffering financial and marital consequences for coming home, I’m here to offer an uplifting word. First of all, remember that God called you home. It IS his will for women to be the keepers of the home. You may have family members and friends asking questions like this: What about your retirement? Don’t you think you could help your family more by bringing in a paycheck? How will you be able to afford college for your children? Doesn’t it take two to earn a living? Why aren’t you working (at a paid job) and helping your husband? Are you going back to work once the kids go to school? Do you just sit around all day? They may tell you that God’s command only applied to the first century or that women don’t need to be home now that we have so many modern appliances, etc. Answer their questions as Biblically and politely as possible, while keeping in mind that the natural man doesn’t understand the things of the spirit.My Beautiful Life Today
Now, 22 years after I first came home, let me walk you through my day. When I wake up as a homemaker, I have my coffee first. I drink my java and pet my beautiful Morkie, Hercules. By that time, my husband is off to work. I always get a goodbye kiss. Next, I might start a load of clothes or work on my blog. I don’t have to worry about getting ready. I can wear pajama pants until lunch if necessary. For the blog, I might be painting, arranging a tablescape, working on a DIY project for the home, or writing a post like this. My work has a purpose. One of my blogging goals is to encourage homemakers struggling in marriages, homeschooling their children, worrying over adult children, trying to raise a family after being raised in a blended family, living in a small space, learning to cook, decorating on a budget, or experiencing financial problems, etc. Now that my youngest is 10 years old, I have time to enrich the lives of other women who are traveling the same roads I’ve already passed through. Next, I wake up my two girls. They are the youngest of our five children. One is in 5th grade, the other in 8th. As they begin their morning school work, we listen to Adventures in Odyssey with my phone. Usually one of them reads a chapter aloud from whatever book they’re currently reading. Everyone has to finish Math before noon. Then, we make lunch. When you homeschool, you always know what everyone likes and dislikes on their sandwiches. My older children usually eat with us. We might ask my 21 year-old son (currently in nursing school) to make his special guacamole recipe or send my 17 year-old daughter (currently taking dual enrollment classes at the local technical college) to the store for a missing ingredient. Sometimes the older children pick up McDonald’s on Fridays. It is a blessing to be at home together.Blessings!
Kristie
This post was featured at: Tuesdays With A Twist
Hilda says
We also homeschool and I’m grateful for being able to stay home with the kids. I love that animal cell cookie! I think my kids will like this too! Thanks for the idea!
Kristie Schubert says
You’re welcome, Hilda!
Jennifer Wise says
I really liked your suggestion to find like-minded friends. People who understand you can be a big help and support in any circumstance. Doing what’s right for you and your family can be hard when it’s looked down on by others, but it will always be a blessing in the end–and along the way, too! Thanks for sharing at #heartandsoullinkup
Kristie Schubert says
Having like-minded friends helps tremendously.
Jessica says
Good for you for following your heart when the world seemed against you! This is a very inspiring story.
Kristie Schubert says
Thanks, Jessica. My goal is to encourage homemaking women in need of support.
Stephanie Malcolm says
I love this and I shared this on my Christian homemaking page.
Kristie Schubert says
Thanks for sharing. I subscribed to your site, and I’m looking forward to reading your posts about training homemakers per email!
Bobbi says
I came across your posts today at Sew Historically. I stayed home with my three children until the youngest was two. I became a nurse and worked 25 years. I climbed the ladder into administration. I had to retire because my RA became so severe I had flares constantly from the stress of work. Oh and I also divorced when my youngest was six. If I had to do it all over again, I would have stayed home! Both of my boys are married and they have elected to be a one income family, one home schools one does not. They are happy and flourishing in their lives with God being central. I am now able to be a full time grandma and be available to my grown children when they need me but even after working 25 years, I’m asked if I’m going to go back to work or what do I do all day! You have to be around like minded families of individuals to encourage and lift one another up. Great blog post!
Kristie Schubert says
Bobbi, your comment encourages me so much. I’m so happy that you are home now, and able to freely enjoy your grandchildren. We need more honest women like you, to tell the younger women the truth. Your daughters-in-law are lucky!
Teresa says
I wish I could be a stay at home mom,although I wouldn’t venture into homeschooling, I just don’t have th patience for it. I lo ve helping my kids with their homework, but I wouldn’t want to do it full time.
Thank you for joining The Really Crafty Link Party this week.
Kristie Schubert says
Homeschooling is a lot of fun when you love to teach. It took me several years, financially, before I could leave my teaching job. After I came home I had to pick up short-term jobs on and off for at least 6 years before my husband’s income sort of covered everything. It’s pretty hard to go from 2 incomes to 1.
mireille says
Glad you stuck it through and are able to enjoy your homemaker’s life. We have 4 boys ages 1 through 12 and while I am not homeschooling, I do feel sometimes to pressure of going back to work. I used to teach 3rd grade before my first was born but never went back to work full time. But I do appreciate having a more flexible schedule and being able to spend time with my youngest!
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Kristie Schubert says
I will pray that you get to stay home, Mireille!
Heidi says
Thanks for sharing your story. I also thinking the key to holding it all together is having God central in your marriage and family. Women are natural nurturers and home-makers, if you have that opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom, take it! Even if it’s just part time or working at home, being with the kids matters. For those single moms providing for their families, do the best you can, don’t give up, God knows your heart.
Kristie Schubert says
Knowing Jesus IS the thing that brought me home, and encouraged me to stay throughout the persecution. ❤️
Michele Morin says
This has been our story as well.
Blessings to you!
Kristie Schubert says
I will go to your blog, and check out your story, Michele!
Marci says
This is such a lovely, encouraging post! I’d like to feature it this week at Tuesdays with a Twist. I hope you have time to link with us again. -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures
Kristie Schubert says
Thanks Marci! I am honored. ?
Kathy A says
I loved reading your story. I was home when my 2 kids were small, went back to work part-time, got divorced, and went back full time. Second marriage to a childhood sweetheart went south fast as he spiraled downward into alcoholism (Thank God for recovery programs!). Working let me build a retirement fund and a pension so that, at 67, I do not have to depend on anyone financially. MY SO and I are enjoying retirement and do more for our small country church, too. I thank God for a college education and a profession that enabled me to do this. I enjoy my one, 2 almost steps, and his 5 grandchildren and do more for them than I could for my own kids at that age.
Kristie Schubert says
Yes, divorce happens, and unfortunately, women and children are the financial victims. I always think about Hagar in the Bible, and how God took care of her when circumstances changed beyond her control.I’m so glad that you’re retired now, and able to enjoy those beautiful grandchildren!