My Favorite Teapot
Do you appreciate your life as a homemaker? I usually do, but sometimes I fall into a lackadaisical way of thinking. Maybe you’re a newly retired woman who suddenly finds herself at home. Possibly, you’ve been at home for awhile, but you’re feeling overwhelmed by debt, raising children, taking care of your parents, or all the above. Sometimes I just get so busy with the blog, the Airbnb my girls and I clean, and homeschooling, that I forget about what’s really important. I was shaken out of my stupor this week, after watching an old black and white movie. A few days ago, I took my two youngest daughters to a co-op for the first time. For us homeschooling families, a co-op is usually one day of the week where the kids attend classes taught by other moms. My fifteen-year-old’s Grammar/Literature class is reading the play, Our Town. Since we’re starting mid-year, I asked my daughter if she wanted to watch the 1940 film version. I’d seen the movie before, a long time ago, and wasn’t expecting it to affect me so much. Now, I may have to go and read some other stuff by Thornton Wilder!
Our Beautiful Cottage
In the 3rd act of the play, Our Town, by Thornton Wilder, a young woman who died in childbirth decides to go back and “relive” a normal day in her life. In the film version, she chooses her 16th birthday (in the stage play, she actually chooses her 12th birthday). She goes back as an observer, and can see herself and her loved ones. She becomes grief-stricken over all the little things in her life that she didn’t appreciate, like coffee, her neighbor and future husband; George, the milkman’s morning arrival, and her parents.
Emily didn’t appreciate things like coffee when she was alive.
Although this last part of the story is the strongest, the other parts are powerful as well. In the beginning of the movie, the viewer is shown (there’s a guy that plays the stage director, or narrator) two houses, side by side, in the town of Grover’s Corners. It’s 7 am on a school day in 1901. Emily’s mom comes down the stairs, wearing a dress with puffy sleeves (like Ann of Green Gables) and upswept hair. She immediately puts on an apron, and cooks breakfast for her family. The children all talk at the same time, quickly eat their breakfast, then hurry off to school. The interesting thing about this scene to me, is that even in 1940 (when the film was made), and especially in 1901, this was the norm. The narrator mentions that these women cooked thousands of meals, and raised children, all without a nervous breakdown (quoted by the narrator).
My Grandma Stella raised 5 boys without having a nervous breakdown.
Next door, the Dr.’s wife (George’s mom) comes down the stairs. She also dons her apron, puts the coffee pot on the wood stove, and starts breakfast for her family. Her husband comes in after staying up all night while delivering a baby. After the kids and husbands leave, the two women meet in the yard, and proceed to shell (or maybe they’re snapping them) beans. The Dr.’s wife mentions how she would love to sell her mother’s cabinet for $350 to visit Paris, while George’s mom says that she plans to put up 40 quarts of beans that year.
My mom’s mother, Alma, raised two boys and two girls.
In the scene where Emily lies in bed after childbirth, she’s in her home, surrounded by her loved ones. Her husband’s dad, the Dr., is there taking care of her as well. Most of the scenes in this movie are filmed in the kitchen, bedrooms, or on the front sidewalks of the houses. You’re never really shown (the parts they show are hazy, like a dream) Emily and George’s farm, or the other parts of their childhood homes. In the stage version, very few props are used at all. As a side note, thank goodness for modern medicine, and the fact that so few of die during childbirth these days! My first pregnancy was high-risk, so I was never allowed to have a midwife, or give birth at home. However, I hope my daughters have opportunities to have their babies at home, if they so desire, surrounded by the ones that love them.
me and the ‘second wave’ of children, about 11 years ago
The Dr.’s wife never visits Paris. She does sell the cabinet, but we find out later that she left the legacy to her son, George, so he and Emily could improve their farm. The author’s implication is that helping her son and his wife start their home is more important than a trip to Paris. How many of us today would say instead, “I’ve raised my kids, now it’s my turn to do what I want.” My husband and I did go on a really fun work trip to Chicago last fall, so I would never say that it isn’t ok to go somewhere nice without the children. I just don’t think “getting away from it all” should be the focus of our lives, or the thing we’re living for, at any age. at the Cheesecake Factory on Michigan Avenue
Are you a homemaker right now? As housewives, we’re often made to feel as though we’re liabilities, rather than assets. Just remember, that’s only true in the material sense. Yes, you could have a bigger home, better vacations, or nicer cars if you worked full time. But, you would also have bigger bills, and many hours away from your husband, children, and homes. I know if I’d been teaching school all these years, I would not have been able to have 5 children. Breast feeding would have been shortened, crafts and project times would have been limited (God forbid!) with them, and I would not have the full, happy, grateful heart I have today, 23 years after coming home.
Also, don’t forget what God’s word says about the matter:
14 Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach; 1 Timothy 5:14 NASB
See, every day, you are giving the enemy “no occasion for reproach.” If you need some homemaking inspiration try reading (or watching) Mama’s Bank Account. The film version is titled, I Remember Mama. I admire the lead actress (Irene Dunn) in that movie! The book was written by Kathryn Forbes. I’ve attached pictures of my copies of the suggested books/movies below, and also included links for purchasing those items at the end of this post.
Mama’s Bank Account, by Kathryn Forbes
Although I haven’t read the book, I love Mrs. Brown (Anne Revere) in the movie National Velvet. Notice how all the Brown daughters share one attic room together, and how wisely Mrs. Brown deals with her family as she helps her husband in his butcher’s business. Edith Schaeffer’s book, The Hidden Art of Homemaking, is another favorite of mine. It touches on the artistic side of Homemaking. It’s an oldie, but a goodie. I wouldn’t consider that book unless you enjoy being creative (it also includes musical suggestions) in the home.
my tattered VHS copy of National Velvet
The Hidden Art of Homemaking is an oldie, but a goodie.
For all you homesteaders and farmer’s wives out there, read The Egg & I, by Betty MacDonald. It’s the hilarious true story of a young wife who marries an urban WWII veteran who whisks her off to a chicken farm in Washington State. I loved the movie, featuring Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray. This movie marks the first time the characters Pa and Ma Kettle appear on film. I love old movies, but if you don’t like black and white movies, read the book instead.
The Egg and I is a hilarious book.
My last book suggestion is How to Thrive on One Income by fellow blogger, Janine L. Sevy. Being home is great, but there is a financial side to consider. If you want to read how my husband and I did things the dumbest way possible, read my post, Becoming a Stay-at-Home-Mom, the Hard Way. Janine is not dumb. She came home the smart way. She has great tips on everything. One of my favorite things was the idea that you can tithe faithfully, beginning with 1% of your income, then increase it incrementally as you pay off debt and adjust to life on a single income.
My favorite tip from this book was about tithing incrementally.
I hope you enjoyed Do You Appreciate Your Life As A Homemaker!
Happy Homemaking!
Kristie
This post was featured on: Farm Fresh Tuesdays
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Kristie,
Great post!! I am now officially retired after working for almost 42 years so I am a full time home maker, I guess….It is an adjustment for me as far as how to use my time constructively….I am learning to manage that. I do not have any children at home nor grandchildren to watch so my time is all mine…Retiring is also a financial adjustment because even though I will be receiving my Social Security benefits now which is actually more than what my husband gets and an monthly annuity payment that I set up to receive for the rest of my life from my 401 K investments, it is not what I was making when working so it is a drop in income which we will be learning to live with…I always enjoy when you do these type of posts…..Keep them coming…
Hugs,
Deb
From what I see of the things you and Joe are doing, you ARE investing your extra time in other people and enjoying yourselves as well. I saw your Social Security cake on Facebook! My husband has 30 years at his job, and can retire. The problem is, if he retired he would have to work somewhere else until we get the house paid off. He’s only 52. It’s hard to say whether or not that would be better than what he’s already doing. I told him about your husband, and he works at Wedgeman’s now that he’s retired, and how he’s a Steeler fan too. Lol
Kristie,
It is hard to adjust to not working after all these years for me but I have a to do list as tall as my house!!! LOL!! Time management is something I have to work on because I can spend hours and I do mean hours on the computer…. I know I have the time to do so but I feel guilty which I guess I need to get over… Joe was bored to death at home because he, unlike me, does not have hobbies other than Hockey and the Steelers which only occupy his time for a short time. He really enjoys working part time…only 15-20 hours a week!! It gets him out of the house and he gets to socialize like he did when he was a mail man… The key is that we planned for retirement when we turned 62 and that is something that I highly recommend. We worked with a financial planner which was FREE through the credit union that we belong to and that was such a Blessing….
Hugs,
Deb
Try not to feel guilty about blogging. You are connecting with and encouraging others. That’s my favorite part of being a blogger.
I think some of the problems now a days is that we put such pressure on ourselves to do all the things. We end up frazzled and having done lots of things but none of them very well!
We expect to do and have it all when maybe that is just not how it’s supposed to be. I had a spell at home when our kids were very small (it was just not economic to work) and then went back to work later. Looking back it was a great thing to be able to do even if we did have to cancel some non essential spends for a few years. I’ll always be grateful that I was able to take that time with them.
Me too! I’m having lots of fun doing side jobs from home at the moment.
I am guilty of not being “happy” with my homemaker status. It’s difficult at times, but I would not trade my life for anything! I am currently finding different ways to be a mom/homemaker, and whike trying to be content with my life. Started a blog, and an eBay store just since 1/1/2020….I am determined to not lose myself while raising my kids!
You definitely won’t lose yourself. All the things you’re learning and doing right now will be important in your life later. The years behind the stove, sewing machine, hosting kids birthday parties, home decorating, selling things on eBay, and etc. won’t go to waste. The days are long, but the years are short when the kids are young. Enjoy them, and know that you aren’t wasting time, you’re actually developing skills that you’ll need the rest of your life.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have enjoyed being a homemaker, homeschool mom and blogger.
Have a great week,
Kippi
Thanks for the encouragement, Kippi!
I am now 68, retired since 62, and enjoying myself. My 2 kids, now 36 and 37 are very independent and successful in their lives. I craft and garden more, am more involved in my church, and active in my Al-Anon group. I’m not gonna get to be a world traveler, but I read voraciously; I consider myself an arm chair traveler. I scrimped and saved during my professional career and that has paid off; I still scrimp so money goes further now and I have a comfortable nest egg in addition to my work pension and Soc. Sec. My significant other and I do simple day trips to see and do things we want to do; life is simple but satisfying. I enjoyed being home while my kids were little, clipping coupons, canning veggies, etc., but found I needed to work part-time to prevent my stagnation; but that’s 35 years ago and just me! I’d do MUCH better today not realizing how lucky I was!
It sounds like you’re having a great retirement, and were wise with your money. I’m 51, so we have a few more years to go, but we’re trying to pay off things, and get ready for the time when my husband retires.
I was blessed to be a wife and mother for 10 years and then life changed. I really enjoyed those years with my children. I went back to school and work when my youngest turned 5 and went to kindergarten. Fast forward 20 years and I found myself a full time homesteader! I recently went back to work full time to achieve a few financial goals. I am also 51 and taking advantage of a few more years of work. Life brings changes, you just have to roll with it!
Thanks for sharing with us at Farm Fresh Tuesdays this week! You are one of my features!
Melissa | Little Frugal Homestead
Thank you for the feature, Melissa!
Kristie, I was going through my in-box Saturday night getting caught up on posts I missed, and you can imagine my surprise and delight to see that you featured my book! I appreciate that so much! I’m glad you think I’m not dumb : ) That made me smile.
When the feminists begin attacking me on amazon, I’ll have to call on you to counteract them with a positive review. Luckily they haven’t found me yet : )
I remember your original post on coming home and how much you went through to make it work and I was so impressed!
I will definitely have to watch Our Town, now. We read Mama’s Bank Account this year and my son and I loved it!!! I’m a big fan of The Hidden Art of Homemaking, too. I used to have the book The Egg and I…I never read it and will have to look for it. My dad liked National Velvet and I’m surprised I’ve never watched or read it. It’s now on my list.
By the way, I’ve always called our home a cottage, too…sometimes I call it after the street on which we live, and other times the Enchanted Cottage (have you seen that b&w movie? ).
Thanks again,
Janine
It was great to read your reply, Janine! I would love it if you would read my new middle grade book, and give me an honest review on Goodreads or Amazon? If you send me your email, I’ll gift you a copy.
Sure! I’ve been trying to find a way to contact you privately, but I don’t see a contact link anywhere. If you’ll go to my website and hit the contact us button at the tippy top of my blog on the black site strip, you can contact me directly. Thanks! Sorry it took me so long to see this comment!
Thanks for letting me know how to follow along, Janine!