Finding My Path As the Children Get Older
Have you every heard the question, “What would you choose, if you could do anything for one year and get paid for it?” I’ve been questioning myself about “finding my path,” for the last several years. I have 5 children, ranging in age from 24 to 11 years-old. I’ve had many wonderful years of pregnancy, breastfeeding, and homeschooling. We moved at full-throttle here at the little cottage for about 21 years, until my youngest daughter turned 8. Suddenly (it seemed sudden to me), I had a little bit of extra time on my hands at certain times of the year.
How was I going to use my bonus time? Because of my belief in Titus 2:5, I didn’t look outside my home to fill the additional hours, or consider frivolous pastimes. I wanted to apply my efforts towards something that I loved, and that I could do from home. I’ve always loved reading and writing. That first summer, I wrote a 26,000 word middle grade book. However, my writing was filled with too much telling, and not enough showing. I received at least 30 rejections from literary agents. Then, I began another middle grade book that I work on here and there. I put the first book aside, and am still waiting for confirmation from the Lord as to whether or not I should edit that book and write more query letters afterwards.
When I’m questioning myself about writing, I’ll say things like, “Gee, Kristie, if you were going to be a writer, wouldn’t you be one by now?” Or, “Maybe if I was trapped somewhere, like John Bunyan, I could write the second greatest book known to the western world.” Does anyone else talk to themselves like that?
During my next “phase,” I sold vintage dishes in my eBay store, The Little Dish Cottage (There is link to the items in my store at the bottom of every post). That was fun for about 6 months. All I thought about (and talked about) was vintage dishware. My walking partner can vouch for that. She patiently listened as I gave her a play-by-play description of everything I boxed up, and shipped out. My husband and I began every Friday night date at Goodwill, or some other thrift store. Bless his heart. Gradually, my enthusiasm began to die. First, I felt as though the dishes were taking over my house. Then, I sighed as my school mornings with the girls were spent packing boxes. Finally, I started to blog about dishes, and REALLY liked that. Blogging about things like Depression glass and and restaurant ware was the beginning of the end of lucrative dish-selling- not that it was ever THAT lucrative.
I actually began blogging at the end of 2016, but didn’t post more than once per week, and generally posted less than that-until I began writing about dishes. I didn’t even buy my own domain or have my Mailchimp account set up properly until about 6 months ago. Then, I discovered DIY blogs and linky parties. What fun! Now I’m motivated to decorate, cook, paint, and make things because I get to share them with my blogging friends, and also see the things they’ve made.
So what benefits have I gleaned from writing middle grade books, selling dishes, and blogging during the past 3 years? Writing the middle grade book was something I always wanted to do. I don’t ever have to feel like I didn’t try, or that I didn’t finish. I sent my query letter to every middle grade agent I could find.
I also learned lots from buying and selling vintage glass and dinnerware. I see identifiable dish patterns nearly every time I watch an older movie. For example, in Throw Mama From the Train, Danny Devito’s Mom is drinking from a Royal Albert Old Country Roses cup when he tries to poison her. As an added bonus, I saved up my dish money last August, and took the family on a trip to Asheville, North Carolina. I’m still very interested in learning about vintage tableware, and using it to decorate. When I buy things to use in a vignette, or on one of my tablescapes, I put them in my store afterwards.
During the last 8 months of blogging I’ve learned to adhere to a writing schedule, and to plan, shop, and create with an eye toward the future. Bloggers begin creating projects 6 weeks to a month or more before an event actually arrives. People are thinking about Back to School. (or homeschool) right now. I’ve been ordering lots of books and buying school supplies this month for my own homeschool. When school starts in August, folks will be thinking ahead towards the autumn season, and that’s what they’ll want to read about.
I have told my children, “I don’t love any of this more than you, or more than I love raising you, or spending time with you. I’m just trying to fill my extra time in a positive way.” I want to be available for my family at ALL times. Teaching my 14 year-old and 11 year-old is a breeze compared to homeschooling 3 kids-along with a toddler on the move, and another baby on my hip. We’re having BIG fun, and I don’t want to miss it. I am soaking up every moment of school, because I know the last two whippersnappers will graduate before I can say, “Jack Robinson.”
I don’t know where the Lord will lead me, or how He plans to use my blog. I know that I am enjoying creating, decorating, painting, and writing about all of it. I especially love getting to know other bloggers, and sharing their joys and struggles. Their ideas, and execution of those ideas, inspire and motivate me every day. If you’re a blogger, I would love to hear how you began this journey, and if you’ve found your path. If your home is emptying out, I would love to hear how you’re spending that extra time.
Blessings,
Kristie
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My home isn’t emptying out but with my kids getting older and so much more self- sufficient I too find I have a lot more time on my hands. I am finally tackling projects from around the house that I have put off for years and trying to re-discover my joy in paper crafts, crafting in general and I have been thinking for the past year or so about shifting my blog ( and probably changing the name) as I know my boys will be done homeschooling before I really know it! Thanks for sharing with us at Encouraging Hearts and Home. Pinned.
I didn’t realize that paper crafts were your favorite! I can’t wait to see what you create as time goes on.
I loved reading this Kristie. I am a little older than you but you will go through several more phases in the years to come. You’ve probably read how I came to the country a few years ago. I had wanted to start my blog back in 2016 and didn’t – fear of the unknown being part of it, the work involved, the money start up, etc. But I finally made the commitment to do it last fall and it got up and running in February of this year. It’s been fun but a lot of work. There are still things I want to do but, I am now moving into the grandchildren phase of my life.
I guess we just have to evaluate as we go along. And of course, pray for guidance.
Thanks for sharing!
Melissa | Little Frugal Homestead
I’m going to go back and read your story again. I’m glad you took the plunge to start a blog. Blogging motivates me to complete projects (and take good pictures of them-lol). We’ll go through our journeys together, Melissa. Who knows where the Lord will take us.
I started blogging after my kids were grown and flown. I don’t see it as a means to an end for anything other than being a hobby, sharing my thoughts and connecting with other people. To make it into an income earner would mean changing its flavour and I’m not ready to do that. If you can tie yours in with something you love and link the two (and make money) then you’ll really be onto something special – good luck!
The first sentence of the post, about getting paid, is just a helping phrase to get people thinking about what they’d really like to do, and encourage them to take the plunge without getting paid for it. I’m still figuring out what I really want to do with my time. If I love it, I’ll do it for free. Selling dishes made money, but I soon lost interest. All of us soon-to-be and current empty nest bloggers will luckily be figuring it out together. ?
Kristie,
I truly enjoyed reading this post and as I have mentioned to you before, our situations are very different but yet similar. Having worked full time as a staff nurse on night shift for 37 years and then going part time 3 years ago, I stuck to a very regimented schedule of doing things around the house, etc. Many things that I truly wanted to do and loved to were put on hold for many years because of lack of time. Now I am no longer working and have all the time in the world!! BUT I am finding that because of that, I seem to drift through out my day because I always have tomorrow to do things…. Yes, I am suffering from a Time Management problem… When you go from having very little time to having as I call it, All the time in the world and throw a knee replacement surgery into the mix ,a one’s whole world is sort of turned upside down…….Since I am finally feeling like myself after the surgery, I now need to work on time management. I will soon be doing a post about it and how I hope to manage my time… By the way, I started blogging in 2010!! Yes, 10 years ago! I was shown a blog by a friend and fell in love with blogging. The very first blog I ever saw was “Between Naps on the Porch”!! Once I learned that I could share home decor and gardening ideas and also get to see some amazing transformations and decor, I was hooked!!
Thanks so much for sharing your story!!
Hugs,
Deb
I know what you mean about time management. But, you have worked for a long time. Maybe a little bit of time-wasting isn’t so bad at this point in your life. I just want to do what I love, here at home, every day. I love Between Naps On the Porch. Oh the Tablescapes! Keep up the good work, Debbie!
Carpe Diem! That is the sign that hangs above my desk, but like you I still have kids at home so my time is not totally mine, but I have a ton more than when they were little.
Happy summer,
Kippi
Ps. I home-schooled them too.
Yes, some of our kids are at home, but I do have lots more time. I love the idea of your sign! I’m trying hard to just “go for it” without fear, but I’m finding myself going for it WITH fear. Lol
You will continue to evolve and grow and change as your children get older. When they are gone from your home you will have another opportunity to reinvent yourself. it doesn’t have to be a sad or lonely time, though some women experience it that way. I choose to see it as God’s next path for me!
I like that idea, Michele, and I love the name of the blog! I am planning to figure things out through the experiences of my fellow bloggers.
I only have two kids, but now that they are older too (12 and almost 9) I’ve been keeping busy in different ways. I took up blogging a few years ago, and this year I opened an Etsy shop. I don’t homeschool, but I work full time out of the house, so it’s not like I have a lot of free time either way.
Thank you for sharing at The Really Crafty Link Party this week!
I think using your God-given talents and passions is a great way to thank God for them. My youngest is now 15 and this year for the first time I really thought about, “If I could do anything, what would I do?” It has taken me down paths I never envisioned before. Like you, I spent so many years focused on birthday parties and signing up for soccer that it’s quite a different place to be now, thinking about what God would want me to do with my talents and passions, and what will help me be the best I can be.
Kristie! You’ve got my dishes!!! I just inherited my grandmother’s Staffordshire Bouquet and there it is on your blog. How sweet! 🙂 It sounds like you’re having fun now that you’re kiddos are a little older and you have some extra time. They grow up so fast, and then one day they’re all gone. It’s been fun to read your post!
Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
Yes! I love the Bouquet pattern, and would LOVE to have Friendly Village!
This is so interesting to read Kristie. I think you should always listen to your gut and just do what feels right at the time.
I started my blog after my mum died and I was in a very reflective mood. I read a lot of craft blogs and have always made lots of things so sharing some of my enthusiasm just seemed like the right thing to do for me at the time. It’s just grown from there really 🙂
I’m trying to figure things out, Julie. I guess I’ll follow wherever the Lord leads me.